09.10.08
Gossip Girl: Never Been Marcused
Previously: Blair made a friend in Europe – a dude who turned out to be a British Lord named Marcus Beaton. Serena stooped to getting back together with Dan. Nate started a sordid affair with a married older woman. Cool.

Serena and Dan obviously fucked on the beach. We know this because it’s morning and Serena is doing that thing where she sits up, holding a blanket to her bare chest meaning sex has occurred. Oh, why don’t you just fucking rain down on me, guys. I know this is only the beginning of vomit-worthy nuzzleiness between D & S. Serena panics and is like, “Er.. we should think about this before getting back together!” After she gets her rocks off! Whatta jerk. Dan’s like, “Noes! I want to be together forreals!” and Serena’s like, “We’ll see. Peace.”
05.13.08
Gossip Girl: A Woman on the Verge

Previously. Lily’s marrying Chuck’s dad, Bart, and Rufus is all bent out of shape about it. Vanessa and Nate smooched. Georgina is still here. Oh, and Serena killed someone. Let’s light this candle.