09.10.08
Gossip Girl: Never Been Marcused
Previously: Blair made a friend in Europe – a dude who turned out to be a British Lord named Marcus Beaton. Serena stooped to getting back together with Dan. Nate started a sordid affair with a married older woman. Cool.
Serena and Dan obviously fucked on the beach. We know this because it’s morning and Serena is doing that thing where she sits up, holding a blanket to her bare chest meaning sex has occurred. Oh, why don’t you just fucking rain down on me, guys. I know this is only the beginning of vomit-worthy nuzzleiness between D & S. Serena panics and is like, “Er.. we should think about this before getting back together!” After she gets her rocks off! Whatta jerk. Dan’s like, “Noes! I want to be together forreals!” and Serena’s like, “We’ll see. Peace.”
09.02.08
Gossip Girl: Summer, Kind of Wonderful
The new season opens up in The Hamptons: beaches, mansions, tennis courts, and Nate Archibald feverishly making out with some girl in the front seat of a car. Say it ain’t so! Nate’s doing something exciting? There are many hot close-ups of Nate biting this woman’s bare shoulder and hands everywhere yet we don’t quite know who she is. Is it Serena? Well, if you followed GG gossip over the summer, you probably read the scoop about Nate hooking up with an older, married woman this season. So there ya go.
07.30.08
Gossip Girl: Much ‘I Do’ About Nothing (the finale)
Previously. Serena’s tape. Chuck and Blair are over. Rufus and Lily kissed and so did Dan and Georgina.
Serena is frantically calling Dan, apologizing, still in that ugly gold jacket from last week.
