Previously. Heidi and Spencer split and she booked it to Vegas. Lauren felt Audrina slipping away. 

Somewhere in Hollywood. Audrina and JustinBobby are looking at lofts. How does she afford this shit with her Epic Records receptionist salary? I mean, did she make any cash off those nudie pics? JB is wearing his glasses hanging off his ears and totally talking her into living alone by saying, “It’s a beautiful thing, living on your own ’cause you’ll always know where you’re at” – no seriously, that’s a quote.  Audrina says it’d be fun to decorate. She’s staring at the blank page before her just like Natasha B.

Heidi’s Apartment. Spencer is still over there and has summoned Stephanie.  He’s all psycho and like, “Heidi didn’t come home last night!” and Steph is grossed out that he slept there. She spills that Heidi is in Vegas and Spencer’s ready to get on a plane. Or drive, or whatever, and he gets Steph to accompany him.

Las Vegas, NV. Heidi is trotting around with Brent and the CEO of Bolthouse or whatever and pretending she’s in on all the business dealings. She’s carrying a notebook which I’m sure contains nothing but doodlings of her own name in various handwriting styles. Brent tells her to “do some research” so this is really serious. Heidi declares she’s ready to take on all this work. 

People’s Revolution. OMG!Whitney is fussing with clothes on a clothes rack and chatting with Lauren Hey, remember them??. Just like Teen Vogue! Lauren complains that she never sees Audrina. Whitney spouts wisdom that Lauren and Lo are like sisters and Audrina might not want to impose. She suggests Lauren ask Audrina what’s up. Lauren foreshadows that if Audrina didn’t live with them, they probably wouldn’t even be friends.

Las Vegas, NV. Spencer and Stephanie are driving through Vegas on a mission to find Heidi. Spencer convinces his sister to call her and find out where she is. Conveniently, Heidi answers and tells Stephanie that she’s at the Palazzo Hotel, working! Spencer sees the casino and totally just drops his car at the curb and runs inside. What a freaking drama queen psycho!   Heidi is inside with her “colleagues” discussing “business matters” when Spencer creeps up on her out of nowhere and requests to speak with her.  Heidi puts on her act all, “what are you doing?! I’m working!!” I highly doubt Heidi would have answered her cell phone when Steph called. Spencer’s like, “We need to be together!” and begs her to come back to LA with him. Fucking Christ. Heidi tells him to get lost and goes back to Brent who tells her that she needs to get her boyfriend under control. 

LAL house. Lauren and Lo are cooking in ugly dresses. They’re waiting on Audrina who obviusly will not be joining them. Lo doesn’t feel like she’s gotten to know Audrina. Audrina exits her guesthouse and cruises around the main house to go on her way, leaving L&L to have dinner on their own. They consider this a total burn.

Las Vegas, NV. Brent and the gang are checking out of the hotel, waiting on the valet rides. They’re all “where’s Heidi?” and are about to leave without her. After futile attempts at finding her or getting in touch with her (she’ll answer her cell phone for Stephanie Pratt but not for her own boss), they head to the airport with no Heidi. Turns out, she bagged her co-workers to spend the night with Spencer and we see them separately with their dumb luggage, exiting the casino.

LAL House. Lauren enters Lo’s room and is all upset because she’s uncomfy around Audrina. Lo insists that there will be future problems if there are already problems. It’s obvs she doesn’t want Audrina around, making her life awkward and all. Lauren knocks on Audrina’s guesthouse door and Audrina is reading! HA! Audrina tells her she doesn’t feel like the house is hers and basically, everyone feels weird. Audrina wants to do her own thing. Lauren is scared they’re growing apart.  Audrina finally mentions that since Lo is in the picture, things have gotten weird. Lauren’s chin quivers and she starts crying because she’s stuck in the middle. Audrina’s so over it and Lauren has a ring with her own name on it and it seems impractical because it takes up two fingers. Lauren leaves Audrina’s guest house with a weepy little face.

Heidi comes back home with Spencer who is wearing the GAYEST SHIRT EVER! OMG it’s like turquoise and pink. Are we supposed to like, rejoice for their togetherness? Are we supposed to celebrate the fact that NONE of these girls can maintain a relationship AND a job? First Lauren ditches the Teen Vogue Paris internship to spend the summer with her boyfriend, and now Heidi bags work opportunities for Spencer. What’s wrong with them? Oh, why even start?

See you douchebags in season four!